Not all who wander are lost…but I am

I’ve just had a fabulous two week holiday with my partner. We spent one week down at a little coastal unit on the south coast. It was cold, quiet and fantastic. I read, sewed, slept, sat on the beach. He fished, ran, read. We just were. We didn’t have any disagreements or frustrations and we both came away feeling rested and refreshed.

As time goes on, I’m really thinking hard about what it is that I want to do with my life. I’m 30 and I’m stuck in a job that I now have no heart for anymore; teaching. I can feel it sucking the life out of me, well at least sucking the joy for life out of me. I arrive at school at 7:30am and I leave at 6pm, when the cleaners kick me out. During report time, I was working at home until 11pm most nights as well. But it’s not the hours that are killing it. It’s the politics, the bureaucracy and the parents. I have witnessed a colleague being bullied and harassed by parents and instead of having our leadership stand with her and saying back off, they have told her to say sorry and that she needs to change. All based on hearsay from 10 year olds, not one exec or parent has observed her teaching method. This probably doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a real symbol for what teaching has become and the types of people that are moving into the management of schools, and I’m over it.

So where to next? It’s hard. Most jobs don’t really consider the transferrable skills of a teacher, it’s a specialised skill set. Plus, there’s the experience, everyone wants experienced employees, but don’t want to give that experience. But deep down, I know these are not the issues I face, the reality is I have NO idea what I want to do next. What I do know is it needs to be creative and something that I really WANT to do.

How to take such a risk at such an age? I’m not sure.

Our second week of the holidays involved feeling like millionaires, cruising around tasting wines. It certainly felt like an art form, listening to the way wine is created and what affects the flavours; we felt like an important part of the process, being the appreciator and appraiser.

My fantasy inclined brain thought- maybe I could be a winemaker or a grower or a taster or…anything. Maybe I can be anything.



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